photos - Gilgo Beach, Long Island, NY, July 2014
I Will Go Back
This water, these waves, the ocean tickling my toes…
I feel like this is where I belong;
I wish I could remain here forever;
I think this was my first home.
But I must leave.
This I know.
There is the life I live elsewhere, so I go
back, knowing someday I will return.
Not yet. Not yet.
There are people. There are things.
And time. Time to be. In time
they will go. Where they will; where they must.
Ashes to ashes. Dust to dust.
Then the strings
that hold me
Then I will come back.
I will return, this I promise.
And I will stay.
Back to the water, the waves, the ocean…my home.
Free, flowing, floating away and alone.
pretty little weeds in the backyard at the old house, July 2014
broken gate in the backyard at the old house, July 2014
old fence at the old house, July 2014
I said the word in such a way that the twins,
Belinda and Deidre,
could not understand.
I said “potato” but they say
And so our disagreement began.
Identical in every way except
that Belinda has a limp.
I never asked why.
Perhaps she had injured her leg years ago,
before I had met them both,
but I did not know
and I have never asked
so I am simply wondering.
I will not assume,
At least I am not making
an ass out of you and me
I have no need to know
why Belinda limps while her twin sister
And I certainly will not say “potato”
just because the two of them say “potato.”
It has been difficult spending time with the two of them -
they do everything together -
ever since the word incident.
The three of us speak hesitantly,
Not one of us wants to be accused
of saying anything in the wrong way.
But I am at a disadvantage.
Two against me, you see.
I had a friend once and twice he left.
I lost him bit by bit, but finally I lost him for forever.
What does it mean to lose a friend?
What does it mean to leave for forever?
To leave forever, or to leave for forever…
I cannot figure out if that is the same thing.
It is not the same thing. I believe the grammar
may be the issue.
In his place I have found nothing.
How can you replace a friend?
I cannot find another like him.
I cannot find anyone even a bit like him.
All the bits are gone. Bit by bit I lost him.
Then, one day, he was completely gone,
and it has been for forever that he has not come back.
inside looking out (Roma restaurant)